Highly Entertaining....

everyone is going to the fair

mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

We made the terrible mistake of going to the fair with Griff last night, partly to celebrate his birthday, and partly because there was really no other time during this week we'd be able to go as a family. Mistake part of it?

Two words: WRITSBAND NIGHT. It's supposed to be a good deal.. instead of spending big bucks on ride tickets, you pay $15 for a wristband that lets you ride all the rides (except the "rollercoaster") all evening long. Which is a complete load of crap. Why? Because even though you are paying a discounted price for the wristband, you wait FOREVER in lines so you wind up only being able to go on about four rides. PLUS I had to shell out an extra $5 for tickets for the "rollercoaster".

Hey, it was my buddy's birthday. He's worth the $5.  ;)

We were able to watch some crazy motorcross stunt action, and enjoyed some fabulous fair-food in all it's grease-ridden glory. I *finally* got my coconut candy applpe, and all was good with the world.

My favorite part of going to the fair???

People watching.

Seriously, what is it about the fair that brings out the best people watching?? Like lady-with-boobs-down-to-her-knees-wearing-a-stretched-out-tube-top. *shudder* Thats why I love my bra ;)

Or lady-with-cell-phone-tucked-inside-her-white-tank-top. SHE WAS WEARING A FREAKING FANNY PACK!!! Take the phone out of your boob and put it in the freaking fanny pack!!!

Then there is the mom-smoking-cigarette-while-carrying-half-naked-baby-because-stroller-is-full-of-ginormous-stuffed-animals-and-framed-playboy-posters. c.l.a.s.s.y.

And fourteen-year-old-lovers-who-can't-keep-their-hands-out-of-each-others-pants-long-enough-to-realize-they-are-standing-directly-in-the-middle-of-the-flow-of-traffic. does your MOM know you left the house looking like that??

And over-tanned-40-something-lady-wearing-heels-and-short-shorts-while-parading-around-the-motorcross-arena-trying-to-pick-up-dudes. Rock on, you cougar, rock on. But, seriously?? Heels? At the fair? The dust-bowl of dust-bowls?? Desparate much???

And the tattoos, oh the tattoos. I sport three, myself, and have been toying around with several others. They are personal and meaningful to each person, but WHAT possesses a person to get Bugs Bunny tattooed on their boob? That wascally wabbit!!

... and the carnies. thats all I have to say about that ;)

I'm really not one to pass judgement on others, because I am well aware of my own faults and short comings. I guess I should thank my lucky stars that even though I'm overweight and tattooed and had a baby at a young age, I still believe I pull off at least an air of a level of class. It takes all types to make the world go 'round, right?

All in all, it was a good time. Griff brought some of his birthday money to spend on games, and wound up winnign a stuffed pug by default when his ball never returned from the game he was playing. He ate a chicken wrap and fried dough and lemonade. That's all it takes to make him happy, really.

 I miss the vibe of the fair from when we were younger... it seemed so much... cooler. More exhibits, more things to see and do... ah, nostalgia. We'll try again Labor Day weekend when we visit grammie and grampe Parker and go to a real county fair, complete with frying-pan toss and demolition derby and tractor pulls and real livestock. And more fried dough;)

eleven years ago today...

... i was 18 years old

... i had just graduated high school

... i was hanging out at home

... i ate a taco and cantaloupe for lunch

... i had the worst back ache

... my life changed forever

... because this little man was ready to make his way into the world, six days sooner than i expected him to.

... it has been quite a ride with you, buddy.

we might not be where i thought we would be if you had asked me eleven years ago, but we are in a good place. we are surrounded by family, by friends, by the people and things who we love and who love us back. it's been a bumpy road. a twisty-turny road. but we found our way, together.

today my buddy turns eleven years old. E.L.E.V.E.N.

that makes me 29. almost 30. *sheesh*

this weekend we celebrated with family and friends. the weather was fabulous, the pool was warm, and the pink birthday cake (strawberry frosting was a special request from the birthday boy!) was delish.

  eleven years ago i never would have imagined that i would be celebrating griff's birthday with such a mixed crowd. my husband, my mother, my brother and his *fabulous* girlfriend (hi natasha!!!). my aunts and uncles. my mother-in-law. our friends. my ex-husband and his wife and their two boys. my ex-mother-in-law. my ex-sister-in-law, her boyfriend and son.

we all get along like a IfamilyI, which sometimes bugs me out. we pass around griff's baby brother like he's any other member of the family, not melissa'a ex-husband's baby. we laugh and chat and eat cake together. there is no hostility, no awkwardness. just a good time. celebrating the one guy who brought us together in the first place.

griffin.

my eleven year old buddy. my one constant for the past 11 years. my partner in crime, my reason for being a mom. my everything.

happy birthday, buddy. i love you and can't imagine my life any other way.

today...

i woke up super early with a crick in my neck that wouldn't go away

i im'd with miss breanne, who promised me she does NOT like liver

i realized i lost my toe ring in the pool last night

i wiated in line FOREVER for mediocre bagels and iced coffee to share with kp and natasha

i misread the work schedule and showed up 45 minutes late.....

i busted my hump while at work to make up for lost time....

i listened to the fantastical john mayer cd from the show we went to

i wanted to take a nap when i came home

i want to be creative, but can't seem to find the mojo

i am making a list of things to blog/scrap/ramble about...

... and erin is at the top of the list *everydayalldaylongfortherestofmylife*

i am going to go enjoy the last evening of griffin being 10 years old....

$100/hour

Not a bad deal, huh?

Last night at the BBC was off to a s.l.o.w. start... I had only two tables for the first hour of my shift, netting me a whopping $7 in tips. Then... the power goes out. Sorry, valued customers... no food or drinky drinks for you. We waited around a few minutes thinking the juice would come back on... but not so much. Once the (rather empty) restaurant was cleared of patrons, we had nothing to do but sit and wait. For almost three hours.

What do you do for nearly three hours? Well, first off, you tell the hoards of people looking for someplace to eat (because power was apparently out from Woods Hole through parts of the east side, yo) that you can't help them out. Sorry, lady with the 6:30 reservation. You're gonna have to find somewhere else to go. Sorry, car full of vacationing 20-somethings, no beer for you.

Once you realize the manager isn't letting anyone leave until at least 9 pm, decide you need to get out of the sweltering restaurant and jaunt across the road to the beach.

Ditch your nasty ass sneakers on the retaining wall and take those toesies for a frolic in the unbelievably warm Atlantic ocean. Remind yourself its been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too long since you've spent time at the beach. You live on freaking Cape Cod, for pete's sake. Get your priorities straight and live the life, dude.

Collect sea glass and heart-shaped rocks with friends. Wonder to yourself AGAIN why you don't do this more often. Really. When we were little beach bums, our sea glass collection was ginormous... since when did *real life* get more important that beachin' it??

Rock the self portraits. Realize that you hate Laura for being so freaking photogenic, and Jen for having the bluest eyes on the planet, and Alison for being all tan and sexy-legged. Love them because they're totally willing to mug for you and your baby camera.

(p.s. I got my hair did yesterday... LOVING the supah-dupah blond-ness right now!)

Pass off your camera to a friendly regular customer (thanks, Theresa!) and have her snap a picture of everyone "hardly working". Peep the picture on your camera screen and write a mental not to yourself to wear BLACK pants to work from now on... holy thunder theighs, batman!!

(l-r: matt, laura, kerri, moi, jen, ali-cat)

Take pictures of the sky. First, snap the fluffy clouds, then wait until the sun sets and aim your camera at the orange fireball that is casting an amazing glow over the baseball field across the road.

Check the time. 8:15. Enough is enough, everyone grab a beer. Or glass of wine. Or two. Get ready to think about closing up shop. Make plans to hang out once everyone leaves.

Wait for it..... wait for it......

8:45.

the.power.comes.back.on.

SERIOUSLY?!?!

Pound that beer you just cracked open and get ready for the rush....

... which arrives in .03 seconds.

Run your ass off for an hour. Clean up your tables, do your side work, count your dollars. Realize you just pulled $100 in that crazy hour, and thinkn to yourself it wasn't such a bad night, after all. Why can't every shift be this easy?? ;)

if i can't get the girl, why don't i just tell her i'm john mayer?

I believe i have found (thanks to freaking erin) my new favorite most-quotable gem of a video.....

 

it's not a metaphor, is it? i hate metaphors.

get me the guy who plays whistle on paradise city.

sir, will you watch your language, there is a f*cking baby in the room!

people matter, but celebrities matter more.

no! of course i don't know a super model. nobody knows a super model. him and like, f*ckin' eight other guys know a super model.

listen, i'm gonna need you to do more drugs. i need your despiration for a guitar solo.

See more John Mayer videos at Funny or Die

p.s. i'm totally riding a scooter around the store from now on. and maybe i'll be the only scooter-ing waitress at the BBC. it'll be fab.

validation

Finally, someone recognizes my genius ;)

Thanks, Chez, for the props. You're not so bad yourself. You might be cheap, but you're alright in my book :P

So, I'm supposed to send along the recognition to at least seven other bloggers... so here goes:

freaking erin (because she actually blogged recently... woah) shurkus (because she's the one who got me bloggin')  er (so MAYBE she'll blog again...) breanne (because it's her nirthday month, and i love her)  steph (because she's a freaking genius... love her words, her pics, her outlook) Sarah (becasue she's the coolest and i want to be her camera)  emily ('cause she's way cool and her talent a.m.a.z.e.s. me)  susan ('cause she's back on the bloggin' bandwagon and she has the second cutest dog in the world)  and stacy ('cause she's hot.. and i need some may-jah inspo to get myself on the right track).

I was going to pass on the award to EVERYONE I know that blogs, just to make it harder for those I nominated to pass on the love, but I figured I'd *try* to be a little fair. Just a little. Go check out these ladies and leave them a little love, why doncha??!!

p.s. I did a little ETSY update today... I have a TON of fabric in the dryer right now that was a sweet score from Happy Joan a while back that I think I need to *finally* cut into... be looking for another update soon!

part deux

Did I mention that I had the best time ever on Saturday night?!?! Not only did I get to party with some of the coolest people ever, but I was able to take in a fab.u.lous. show while I was at it.

Ok. Brett Dennen. Not so many people know too much about this guy, but I totaly *heart* his music. I even bought a CD that I already own while at the concert so he could sign it for me. I have never stood in line for an autograph before. Yes, there was the time last year when I stood out in the rain for an hour waiting to catch a glimpse of miss Tori, then ran through Boston Common soaking wet at midnight, but that's completely different ;)

I might have been the ONLY person in our general area of the audience that know the words to any of his songs. I didn't care. I rocked and rolled with the tunes and sang my little heart out. If you know me, I you know there are times I can be really self conscious and aware of what other people think. There are also times when i.just.don't.care. The concert was one of them ;)

Then there was John Mayer himself. While our seats weren't *quite* the spectacular third row versions we rocked at last year's concert, our view was quite nice. And guess what?? There was NO ginormous man standing in front of me this time. I think I would have seriously flipped out if I had to endure another JM concert behind the 7-foot-tall-boyfriend-of-a-john-mayer-fan-who-is-only-at-the-concert-to-make-sure-his-girlfriend-doesn't-try-to-sneak-onto-the-tour-bus.

Two words: FREE FALLIN'.

If you've heard the live cd JM put out at the begining of the month, you KNOW what I'm talking about.

So. my friends, the concert was amazing. I'm not sure we'll ever be able to top the fun ;)

how to have a killer time at a concert, volume 1

  volume 1, tailgate edition.

Actually, none of the pictures I tried to take of the actual concert came out well AT ALL. So, here we go... how to have a killer time at a concert. I'll just make a list, and the next time you go to a concert, you should at least try to achieve three of these elements, ok?!

*park in east bum. haul your cooler full of refreshments all the way across east bum to the VIP parking lot, where the par-tay has been organized. curse crappy parking.

* bring beer *ahem* ginger ale.

*write/ etch your name on your cup, or preferably have someone else do it. it will probably be A LOT funnier that way.

*fill said cup with your beverage. several times.

*pee in the VIP parking lot porta potty. multiple times. hoot and holler your way to the porta potty, yelling that the VIP services are waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than any other amenities in the whole parking lot.

*pose for friend with camera in porta potty. disregard sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that these photos will likely end up on the interweb.

*take lots of self-portraits. with and without the permission of others.

*realize there are lines forming to get into the concert, and said lines are snaking through the parking lot. get the bright idea to offer refreshments to people standing in line. open a bag of doritos. realize that the people standing in line half way through the parking lot do NOT think you are as funny and/or clever as you do. nobody really wants your chips, man. abandon plan. crush up a handfull of chips and drop them down the front of a friend's shirt. in turn, you get doused with a beer *ahem* ginger ale. think to yourself that you have the better end of the deal. at least your shirt will dry, dorito-girl will have cheesy breasties for the rest of the night ;)

*take a group photo, charllie's angels style. kind of. everyone is actually too out of it to care what the picture looks like by this point in the game.

*** not shown in pictuires***

meats on sticks. or forks. eat some with a friend ;)

extra-juicy pineapple "shots"

yell. loudly. for no real reason.

reply to a text message from someone you've never actually met IRL. instead of merely texting them back, call them up. they should know how much fun YOU are having, shouldn't they?!

make friends with the people around you. that way when your real friends try to deny their actions from the evening later on, you can post a myspace bulletin asking your new friends to vouch for your side of the story.

make a friggin' fool out of yourself by walking around with a cup full of beer on your head and your lime green bra hanging out of your shirt. (there actually ARE photos of this one, but i'm not sharing. unless you have $20 and want to embarass a mutual friend)

laugh. giggle. make lewd gestures with meat. try not to think about the fact that you are still covered with beer, and that security might not let you into the show.

Oh, what a night it was, folks. I'll be back tomorrow with the second installment of the concert update... maybe. If i don't get my a$$ kicked before then ;)

oh, eddie vedder

In celebration of me scoring *hopefully* fantastical tickets to see Eddie Vedder perform at the Opera House in B-town August 1st, I present you with some of my favorite mis-heard lyrics moments from Mr. Mumbles himself....

hey, Stickles!

This one is for you, babe! I know you're gonna fall head over heels in love with it... or maybe you won't, but don't tell me if you hate it. I'm delicate, and fragile, and sensitive. I can't take rejectioni, So please fall in love with the bag, ok? Thanks ;)

I posted a few new bags in ye olde etsy shoppe today. Go check 'em out, why doncha? If you like the mermaid-y bag, there's another one for grabs ovah in tha shop. Plus a beee-u-tiful vintage linnen gag, and a smallish greenish-creamish-greyish little lovely. It will be a little while (read: the end of the week) before I get to bang out any more bags, so enjoy these while you can ;)

p.s. dear jeep jen, i'm not sure if you read this little bit of blog-heaven, but i made your bag, too. it'll be at the store tomorrow. i'll call ya ;)  love, m

p.p.s hey horgan, tomorrow's Wednesday... know what that means?!?!